A week later

Yesterday it was one week after the surgery, so I thought I'd hare some post-op progress info and photos!

When I got home to my boyfriends apartment, I went straight to bed. Even though the flight went surprisingly well, it took all my energy. This week has been bit of a blur to be honest, I haven't done much except resting in bed, getting lots of sleep, so the days blend into each other.
I got medium strength and strong pain killers prescribed, as well as anti-nausea pills. I've started stepping down, and now only take the medium strength 30 minutes before I brush my teeth.

The pain has been so-and-so. The painkillers help, but only to an extent. The upper jaw gum is totally numb, and my upper lip was/is often stuck to my upper braces. It makes talking, drinking, eating and smiling/laughing very painful. My lips are always dry, I'm glad I got the hospital grade lip balm, it's a saviour!
Now a week later I feel it's a bit easier to talk, but since I'm stepping down on my pain killers, laughing and smiling is still FUCKING painful! I didn't even know this was going to be a problem...

I can't kiss my boyfriend either :(

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On Thursday, only 3 days after the surgery, I went to my orthodontist to have him do a check up.
Since easter break was just around the corner we had to push the appointment 4 days earlier, so I was still VERY sore and swollen. I was very anxious, because he has a history of being cold and not very understanding. Lo and behold, the first thing he does is basically turn my upper lip to the side, instantly making me cry.. He didn't say or do anything to calm me down, he just asked me question about if the hospital said when to start turning my expander, I was like "??? DUDE?? Are you serious??" in my head, while frantically trying to stop crying. He went walking around the clinic on the lookout for the expander tool, so I sat up and calmed down.
He never found the handle for the expander tool, so I just got what looked like a bent paper clip to take home. Good thing about this orthodontist is that every visit is super short, so you're out the door before you know it.
Just after that appointment I started to see the tooth gap, and I got a bit excited!

Otherwise I've been out at the grocery store, buying all kinds of mushy food. I also bought Wii Fit U and the balance board, so I can start working out when I feel better!

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Eating:
Smoothies
Mushy toodler food
Cereals (esp. Weetabix, not anything supercrunchy)
Mashed potatoes
Protein drinks
15kr processed mushy pasta dishes

...and that's basically it. I've lost a bit of weight too quickly, which have resulted in dizzyness and feeling faint all the time. I've gotten better at eating, but it's really taken a toll on my body.

Anyway.

Progress photos!
Here I have photos from 5(!) angles from the 7 past days. You can really see how shiny and sweaty-looking I get when the swelling is on the worst. I look absolutely dreadful!
Just click on the photos to make them bigger (They will open in the foreground)

You can see the swelling has gone down considerably, but the little swelling that still lingers will stay the for quite some time, I think. It'll take some weeks before I'm "back to normal"


Turning the expander: 

This hasn't gone super smooth, but now I'm getting the hang of it!
Like I mentioned I got an expander tool, that I put into a hole in my expander. I'll just post a how-to video that I found on YouTube, because it's very hard to film this doing this to yourself!

As you can see, you get a easy-to-use handle, I only got the little metal part. I always try to turn with my head tilted a bit forwards, so I don't get the pin stuck in my throat if I drop it..

The turning itself doesn't hurt at all, it's just a bit uncomfortable. You feel pressure, if you're familiar with having braces, just imagine that pressure feeling in your head, it's really weird! So it's not the hardest thing to do, luckily!

This is my tooth gap as of today:
Pardon the gross close up.

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I guess that's it!
I think I got everything covered, but if you have any questions about anything about this process, just leave a comment!

Now I just have to heal up properly this next week, I have another orthodontist appointment in a week. I just hope it won't hurt as much this time around.

FINALLY! THE DAY OF RECKONING.

14.03.2018:

So when I was told to go the fuck home, we went to a pub quiz. While I was still upset, it was a nice distraction. I think I went to bed around 9am. Much fun.

I was woken up by my phone ringing, it was the surgeon! She called me from her own office, and basically told me to get my ass back to Bergen Monday 19th for surgery! I was still drunk, so I kind of just thought "ugh seriously? I just got back home..", but we talked for a while, and called around ordering plane tickets, call my orthodontist and otherwise making arrangements.

So.

There I was, lying in bed half-asleep and probably still a bit drunk, trying to tell myself that it was really happening this time. But since I've had so many issues with this whole ordeal I just didn't believe it.

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19.03.2018:

I didn't really believe it even lying down on the surgery slab being prepped, my anxiety was non-existent! I was asked if I wanted to bring my brother in while I was put out, but I was like "nah mate I'm good. No, really.". It was so strange, I was so damn calm!

One thing that I noted, is that all of the staff in the surgery room were women! The nurses, the surgeron, the anesthesiologists.. Women! It made me so happy, and I felt really safe and well taken care of. The male surgeon who was supposed to join the last time didn't have the time now, but he stopped by just to say hello and good luck. Nice man.

The shot me up with Fentanyl, and put me to sleep.

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I woke up in a cloudy haze. Now, I've never been under total anesthesia before, so I was worried I'd wake up during the procedure, I'd die, all that lovely stuff.
I just woke up really fucking groggy. People who say that going under is like "the best sleep they've ever had!" has to fix their regular sleeping rutine. I normally sleep like a fucking baby, so for me it certainly was a step down. More like a whole staircase that I was pushed down.

I was put in the intensive care room, with a nurse checking in on me every 10-15 minutes or so. I had been fasting and just wanted to sleep, so I was pretty cranky haha. After 2 hours I finally were able to drink something. The brought me some fruit drink, to get some sugar in me. She gave me an icecpack, and forced me to go to the toilet even though I didn't really felt like going. The surgeon came to stop by and check on me, and she told me the surgery was a success! Hurray.

What they did:
They basically made the insition under along my upper lip, pulled my face up and cut the medial wall in my nasal cavity away to make space. Then they sawed down Le Fort I, and down the hard palate. No screws or plates were put in, so everything was loose. Though, they didn't take out part of the bone like I wanted, they didn't see it as neccesary. Boo, oh well. They sewed me up and rolled me out. Easy peasy lemon squeasy! It's actually look at as a minor procedure, but for me it was fucking major.

When two sweet nurse (students?) rolled me out of intensive care I saw my brother sitting on a chair in the hallway, I just shouted out to him lol. He followed along, and was left in the hallway while waiting for my spot in a four-person recovery room.
I quickly came to, and started fiddling with my phone and playing on my 3DS. I hate just lying around and not do shit, feeling unproductive!

Finally!!

Didn't really like the IV needles, they were constantly painful and uncomfortable. 

Facepalm long and prosper

My best friends:

• My brother 
• The nurses 
• My jug of water 
• Trixie Mattel's new album One Stone
• My trusty ice-pack 
• The surprisingly good wifi connection! 

My worst enemies:

• Eating, 
• the IV needles,
  the orange candy tasting fruit drink I was served, 
• not being able to sleep
• Blood-clogged nose
• Not being able to shower

So the rest of the night was just.. boring. I couldn't (and shouldn't!) do anything, so it's not really much to write about. I wrote to my friends and family, trying to take my mind off things. I was put on painkillers now and then, and during the night the put me on antibiotics through the IV.

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I managed to get some sleep, the first half I was only able to sleep an hour at a time, but the longest stretch was for about three hours. I woke up around 5:30am, and decided not to sleep anymore.

Later the surgeon came by one more time to say hi and check on me, by then I looked like an overworked and depressed hamster, all shiny and puffy. 

I mean, look at this fucking supermodel:

My surgeon told me about the plans for the day. I was to get a hygiene appointment to get my mouth cleaned, and getting ready for checking out of the hospital. The thought of the hygiene appointment was scary. I have a pretty strong case of dental anxiety, just sitting down in a dentist chair is a challenge. Knowing that something will hurt really bad will make my anxiety spike up. But the dentist's nurse luckily didn't know a lot about my procedure (it's not super common), so she didn't push around as much, she was really careful. She cleaned around my mouth and nose, and put on some hospital grade lip balm. My lips were drier than California, so that part was so nice.

Normally the patients have to rinse their mouth with hydrogen peroxide to remove slime and goo, but since I'm allergic to it I could just use regular mouth wash. Thank god the had something else I could use, my breath was so bad!!

My brother and I went up to the recovery room again, to pack and relax a bit. The nurse came by to remove the IV needles (I LOVE HER), and told me that I was free to leave when I was ready.
The flight home was okay. Normally my ears struggle with the pressure, and I feared it would be 100x worse with me being so swollen. I guess the painkillers took care of that! My boyfriends picked us up at the airport ♥

I think I'll write another entry for the recovery part, this is getting really long.
Since the surgery appointment was basically thrown in my lap, everything happened in a flash, so I am SO fucking happy this is over!

Holy emotional roller coaster, Batman!

So.. I've had the surgery! But not without more stress and hurdles. Of course.
I'll the you about all the pre-op mess here, and a post-op entry afterwards to split it up a bit.
I was also so stressed out and busy working before the surgery, I just haven't had the energy to update the blog.
Here it goes:


On Monday 12th, my brother and I flew down to Bergen and went straight to pre-op consultations.
They took x-rays, talked me through the surgery, and took blood tests. It was very nice having my brother with me, he remembered to ask about things that I forgot, and kept me sane.

And as I mentioned earlier, I made a hot pink robe to shift some of the focus away from the anxiety. Here it is, in all its glory:

Isn't it fabulous? We also made gifs of it in motion:

Yes, I'm wearing skeleton tights the day before I'm getting surgery. It's a bit morbid, but the chance comes you just have to grab it by the balls.

After the pre-op talks, we went to the top of Fløyen with the famous cable car called Fløibanen. The view from the top is just amazing! I've only been here before during the summer and during the day so it was really special watching this evening landscape.

So fucking cold though

After that we went to Inside, who make the best fucking burgers I've ever eaten. If you're ever in Bergen, it's almost criminal not to stop by for a bite. Can't have a scrappy meal just before I'm taken away the liberty of biting into things for a time.
We went back to the hospital hotel, and called it a night. I couldn't sleep, I tossed, turned and cried, my anxiety levels were through the roof. 

I did write a small post on Instagram that night, because Blogger wouldn't work on mobile. I'll just copy+paste my angst right here.

• Greetings from a hospital hotel bed in the middle of the night. Can't seem to write entries for my blog on mobile, so this'll have to do for now. There's still another half hour until I have to get up, but I've been awake almost all night. I've been sweating, having nightmares and tensing up, the anxiety knot between my shoulder blades are so painful right now. Had some pre-op appointments yesterday and the surgeons were really fun, and made me relax a bit. Now, when I'm alone with my thoughts I just want to go home and forget the whole thing. I'm so so glad they'll sedate me before putting me under, because the stress can impossibly be good for the anesthesia. It seems shallow, but I'm scared shitless on how I will look after this procedure. I know I'll look like a hot mess in the months to come, but I mean the finished look. I don't think I'll ever get used to the thought of having a stranger look back at me in the mirror. I try to focus on the good parts about this trip, but it's really hard right now. I finished the robes in good time, my brother and I went to Fløien for an amazing view yesterday, and we ate burgers at Inside for my "last meal". But I'm in my feelings right now, and I'm so fucking terrified. Meeting up for the surgery in one hour.

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Finally, the day of the surgery!
...Or so I thought.

We groggily went to the hospital, I was given sedatives and changed into hospital clothes. They even gave me special underpants to wear, the were made of some weird kind of knit mesh? I felt my butt butt looked like like a white sack of cabbages.
They put me in a bed in the hallway, and gave my brother a chair to sit on. We talked and waited, and my anxiety was here and there, the Sobril/Oxazepam didn't really work the way I'd hope. My body was physically wobbly and relaxed, but my mind was still going haywire about the surgery.
We waited some hours more. I got two more Sobril since the others had lost a lot of their effect.

And waited some more.

Saw some nurses running down the hall...

Waited a bit more.

The surgeon came to me, and told me he had bad news.
They had gotten in two trauma patients, that needed surgery ASAP. My surgery had to be postponed to an unknown date.

ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING?
I was angry, disappointed, and just felt so fucking defeated.
Just my fucking luck.
The employees said that if the trauma patients waited (lol) 30 minutes I'd already be on the slab getting cut open. I of course understand that trauma patients needed the medical attention, but holy shit if this isn't some divine intervention kind of riggery and tomfoolery. I can't. The nurse tried to talk to me, but I was just crying in the hallway, ignoring her. She had to wait until my brother got back (he was out for breakfast) and talk to him and arrange the flight back home.

So my brother and I flew home, went to a pub quiz and got drunk with my boyfriend and friends. At least we won the quiz?

New surgery date + brace progress

Time for an update!


I got recently a new date for my SARME procedure, fucking FINALLY! I'm so glad I didn't have to wait months and months for a new surgery date, just.. 2 months postponed. 

Oh well, I guess that's basically light speed when the goverment's paying for it! Can't really complain.

The new date is MARCH 13th!
Being nervous about all this crap is a severe understatement. The instant I got the letter I just shut down and did absolutely jack shit for the rest of the day, completely zoned out. I'm so, so glad my brother is coming with me for the surgery trip, or else I'd just.. not board the plane, nope'd the fuck outta there.

Sooo... to keep myself busy up until then, I've decided to go the extra mile for my hospital stay.
I bought some fancy faux fur slippers in Thailand, along with some hot pink fabric. I'm making robes, and will be very fabulous while being drugged and swollen.

What do you think so far?

I will give y'all further updates as the day moves closer.

In the meantime, it's really fun to see the braces continuously doing their job.
Here is some progress through 3 months, December 1st until today.

Top row, from before I got the expander in vs now:

Bottom teeth, two views because this is insane. The lower jaw has been just hell these past months, but you can really see the braces are doing their fucking best!

Look at them teeth go!!